The Hair vs. The Shampoo

A recent article in the New Yorker, entitled "The Hair" by Kyle Leighton, spoke of the significance of Tom Brady's hair in his rise to supremacy in Boston and the sporting world. To give the star quarterback of the New England Patriots' hair even more news time, teen pop sensation Justin Bieber also made time to take a shot at Brady's hair in a recent rap video. Despite sporting fans love/hate relationship for Tom Brady (love if they live in New England, hate if they live in any of the remaining 46 states), Brady's hair is not the big story in the NFL as Leighton claims it is. The real story in the NFL this year is of Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu and his hair. Even non-sporting fans know of his memorable, though less than creative, commercials (#1,# 2, #3) for Head & Shoulders, and the current insurance policy taken out on his hair. Truth be told, the fact that the shampoo giant has invested $1 Million into the security of his hair is perhaps more well-known than the commercials themselves. Perhaps this insurance policy is in case NFL regulations are changed so that Polamalu is forced to cut his hair, or maybe Head & Shoulders fears his hair might get ripped clean out during an intense game. In other words, Troy Polamalu is Samson as far as the shampoo giant is concerned: with his hair, he's unstoppable, but if any Delilah comes along to get cut his locks, our football star will become worthless. At least this way Head and Shoulders can get some money back.

Hair has not been without it's controversy in the NFL over the past years.


In the past, NFL owners have considered changing uniform regulations stating that a players name and number should always be visible on the back of the jersey. (1) Apparently officials were having trouble identifying the player or perhaps they just feared an army of players with hair cascading down to their lower backs. Or maybe owners and officials were simply jealous that their day-job did not afford the luxury of such long hair and wanted to put an end to it all. Perhaps Abraham Simpson (yes, Homer Simpson's senile father from the cartoon) put it best about the new generation of football players' hair and how it was so much better back in the old days:

"Look at them sideburns. He looks like a girl. Now Johnny Unitas -- there was a haircut you could set your watch to."

In an era of 24-hour football channels to go along with regular cable channels full day pre- and post-game analyses, it was only a matter of time before hair became a poignant conversation topic. Thank goodness we have trailblazers like Troy Polamalu too look up to as a role model outgrowing the competition. Now that that's settled, can we start talking about football again?

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